10 Reasons Why You Should Never Be Friends With Your Ex

I always tell my fellow guys to be very afraid whenever they find out that their girlfriends are still tight with their exes. The thirst shall forever be real even when there’s a borehole nearby. A huge percentage of coupled up people can confess to having slept with their exes behind their current partners’ backs. But can they really? No, most people won’t confess, unless they are tortured by Jack Bauer. The one night romp always remains a secret between the former lovers. None of the ‘friends’ is supposed to tell their partner.

Well, it can be fun, hooking up with your ex once in a while, but the truth is, you shouldn’t do it. You shouldn’t even consider it. I’ll tell you why.

·    1-It’s unnecessary torture: It’s written in the Egyptian pyramid walls that the moment when you dump someone is when they begin to look the most attractive. You end up wondering how you were not seeing all that before. After you dump her, you’ll begin to notice that unbelievable ass. Her chest will now resemble edible gigantic melons yet you always saw little lemons. You’ll be hanging out “as friends.” She wears that provocative skirt. You feel like touching her but you can’t even dare because her current dude has Bien’s abs, Sonko’s money and Babu Owino’s balls. You can’t match that. Why would you put yourself through that?

·  2 --     Exes are addictive: Your ex can be as addictive as flying horse, sacramento, chang’aa and all those illegal types of methanol laden liquor. You’ll drink in their forbidden passion and you’ll go blind as expected. Whenever you argue with your partner, you’ll always be running to your ex. The thought of doing all the things you did while you were dating is exciting. What’s even more exciting is doing them without any form of attachment

· 3-       False hope: Admit it, hope is always there. The hope turns into faith and the faith turns into belief-the belief that you can move mountains. Even Moses or Elijah never managed to move mountains yet they had faith the size of Kenyatta’s land. If the hope is not there for you, it probably is for your ex. You might get back together yes but we all know that second comings don’t always work out well. Ask Mourinho and Kaka.

·   4-     You can’t undo the past: You’ve seen each other naked, you’ll have always seen each other naked. Most platonic pals of opposite genders have not seen each other naked. You’ve kissed, friends don’t kiss. There’s no undo button here. There’s only a redo button.

·   5-     Tons of Jealousy: Yes, the jealousy is so heavy that it can be measured in tons. There’s a conflict of interest in your new “buddy-buddy” relationship, as you don’t want your ex to fall in love with someone else. You’ll keep on believing that your ex’s current girlfriend or boyfriend is not as good as you are. You know the phrase, “You’ll never find someone like me?” or “You’ll never find someone who loves you like I do”. Here’s the catch: Real friends want each other to be happy but you probably won’t want our ex to be happy. You’ll want them to be with you.

· 6-        You can’t talk about your personal lives without it getting awkward: Real friends do talk about their personal lives with each other. As a man for example, you wouldn’t want to hear how your ex-girlfriend was flown to Mombasa and caressed in the pool at night as the cordial coastal breeze whizzed by. Your throat might get a growth. It’s what we always referred to as ‘kunyongwa na waru’ during our childhood days.

·  7-      It’s awkward for your mutual friends: It’s normal to have mutual friends while dating. Her friends become your friends and your friends become her friends……and vice versa. They know you dated. They remember the evident chemistry. And now they have to figure out how to treat the two of you when you show up to a party together-but-not-together.

·  8-      The mixed signals: This will probably hurt you more if you are a direct approach kind of person. There are too many nicknames, pokes, naughty jokes and memories to start fresh, so you’re likely to fall into old dating patterns even when not romantically involved. It can be confusing for one or both of you. At times you might get the wrong message and go for the kiss only for your ex to get up and walk away in horror.

·    9-    You’ll never find true love: You’ll always be hoping that things might get back to the way they were before the storm. Your heart will still be tilted towards your ex and for every wrong thing your current partner does, you’ll always have that feeling that your ex was better. As a result, this will be detrimental to your progress in the game of love.

·  10-       It’s not worth it: You’ve had your heart broken but at some point you’ll be tempted to reconsider. You’ll think about things like, ‘He/She cheated but she’s not so bad’ Or ‘I really made a mistake by leaving them.’ Why not invest your time and energy in the people who make you happy, not the ones who made you happy but can no longer do so. Not the ones who hurt you deeply. Leave the bones to the dogs.

The people of Vedado in Havana Cuba have a very important saying, “When in a race, you should never slow down to look at the person who is nearly catching up with you, neither should you stop to help a wounded competitor.” Adios Amigos