LOVE TIPS::QUESTIONS TO ASK BEFORE MARRIAGE

So you’ve met this really great person; been with the person and gotten to like and at love that person…., but now you feel you want to spend the rest of your life with him/her, right? The question now staring you in the face is how well do you know that, that person is really indeed the rightful person you want to settle down with? What guides your judgment in choosing that person out of a million others you’ve come across? You may probably have your instincts deciding for you to go in for that person, but is that good enough a reason to want to marry someone? There are some serious questions to ask before marriage and this is what we are going to share.

Now, marriage is a big step taken in a relationship and life in general and as much as possible, much caution needs to be exercised when choosing an ideal candidate or partner to settle down with. You need to verify for yourself and get to know what you really going in for. No one really wants to get married and later regret ever doing it in the first place, plus having to live with the consequences that accompany the choice made for the rest of their lives. This is why you need to access yourself and the relationship you find yourself in.

 So now, I pose this question to you out there who’ve found yourselves involved one way or another in relationships that have reached that peak of seriousness in tying the knot….,’How well informed or prepared are you in entering this union(marriage) ?’ To better inform your choices and give you added knowledge on how to go about this, below are the  selected ten most important questions to ask yourself in relation with your decision on selecting the right person to tie the knot. They are things you need to do and know before saying those vows finally!

You need to ask yourself or search thoroughly within you, your true feelings regarding your partner and how best you view the relationship you have with that person.

What this means here is that, you have to be able to tell whether its love, lust or like you feel for your partner. If you arrive at love, then you know for sure that that’s a feeling worth committing to. However, if it’s lust or like you feel towards that person, then you know too well what that also means. Love and lust don’t make it in marriage. It can get you there, but be sure the union will come crumbling when you least expect it!

 How you two both view your career aims, goals and aspirations ?

Do you support each other every step of the way and are willing to achieve dreams set individually and separately by the two of you.  You need to get a concrete answer to this question, because it can either make or break your union eventually when you two get to have conflicting ideas and feelings towards each other’s profession or career aims and goals. You need to have a partner that’s supportive of your every decision career- wise; one who would help you achieve them in the marriage.

How well do you and your partner both accept your religious faiths and affiliations?

Whether a Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, Jew or even an atheist; you and your partner should be able to have that level of tolerance towards each other’s religious preferences and personal views. It doesn’t have to be the case where both of you don’t agree on each other’s religions as well as beliefs and faith. You may end up marrying but this inconsistency can ruin your marriage as much it would want to because religions and beliefs are a person’s most sacred and revered assets.

 Spending habits ?

It’s very important to know the level of spending and saving ability or habits when it comes to the relationship and how effective this will go into the marriage when you two get to tie the knot. A partner, who is carefree when it comes to spending and is more or less a ‘spendthrift’, is not an ideal candidate to choose to spend the rest of one’s life with. Your marriage is bound to go down the drain leaving you guys in an absolute mess full of financial frustrations. You don’t need that! You need someone who’s going to help manage your home, your family…, not someone who’d cause you to go down the drain immersed in bankruptcy.

You need to consider each other’s sexual chemistry!

No marriage can work out properly if partners aren’t at all compatible sexually. How well do you bond with your partner when it comes to lovemaking? Do you feel you two connecting in many ways or having that spark ignited between the two of you physically? All of these you need to consider before getting into that union with your partner. You wouldn’t want to get into the marriage and then later get to realize you not at all compatible with the person you’ve chosen to spend eternity with. It might just be too late. Sex is key to happiness and fulfillment in every marriage. It’s very important to have and enjoy that moment with whomever you choose to tie the knot with.

 Consider each other’s flaws and how far you can go to cope with those flaws in marriage.

You can love someone, yes…no doubt, but how well do you do to love the errors and imperfections of that person? This is something you need to be sure of before deciding to marry them. The way and manner you get to accept people in a relationship is often carried out in whatever commitment you decide to have with them. So, it is very paramount that the two of you get to accept, like and love each other’s flaws as well as short-comings even in marriage.

 What is your partner’s views are concerning the marriage and what they want to achieve or hope to attain in the union ?

Is your partner willing to have kids? Are they ready to take up the challenges associated with marriage and parenting? Are they willing or have any interests when it comes to starting a family? All these you need to ask or be aware of so as to better inform you of the kind of marriage you entering and whether or not the person you wish to marry is the ideal person to fit that role. You both need to know what your expectations are concerning the marriage so that feelings and emotions don’t get tampered with at the end of the day when you’ve said your ‘I do’s’ and ‘till death do us parts’.

 You relationship with each other’s parents or immediate family relations.

It’s a must to know how best your partners family accept or disapprove your relationship with their child and how effective that like or love for the  relationship can go to help you two when you get to tie the knot eventually. You have to access the family you getting yourself involved into, and know how best you can deal with or handle them when issues arise Not being in good terms with your partners immediate family can take a toll on your relationship together and might even go to the extreme of determining whether you two get to live happily when you get married or get to face the hostility coming from their end. It can either go well for the two of you or it can get pretty uncomfortable when ignored and you head in right for the marriage.

 How well do you know or relate with each other’s friends or pals in your personal circles?

Whether you like it or not, you’ll have to end up seeing or being around your partner and their friends or buddies once you get married and when you not in good terms or relations with them, this becomes a very BIG problem between the two of you. As such, you need to address this question to yourself and as much as possible get to know if you and your partner really and truly accept each other’s circle of friends. This will ideally help both of you in your relationship and marriage life.

You need to consider each other’s past.

You have to. I mean, whether you like it or not, you both have got pasts or more or less some history before meeting each other and these have brought you guys to your current positions or stands in life. You need to at least know certain details relating to each other’s past; so as to avoid uncertainties and surprises when you finally and eventually get to tie the knot. Even though ones past life and experiences may not necessarily matter when you love them, it’s quite vital to know their life story, where they started from to where they’ve gotten to. You can’t spend the rest of your life literally with a total stranger can you now? Therefore the need and must to properly get to know your partner is unavoidable and must be done.

To wrap everything up, I’ll say that no one can say for certain how well they know or think they’re ready for marriage and also knowing the right person to do this with. But one thing I do know for sure is that in order to take the step towards marrying someone, you need to visualize the whole relationship and take into consideration how well you feel you know your partner and how you view them in terms of being by your side for the rest of your life. Marriage is a long way towards a road of uncertainty. No one knows what the future holds in terms of marriage and how long it’s going to last or breakdown in the long run. The choice to have that lasting and enjoyable married life lies truly in your hands. No one can decide for you on the appropriate person to choose to spend the rest of your life with, only you and you alone have the power to decide based on your judgments of things. But be sure to bear in mind that not every relationship necessarily ends up in marriage. You might be lucky to find the ideal candidate and virtues you’d admire in a marriage partner with some partners in some relationships, but with others too, it can be a totally different scenario. So, don’t be quick to feel disappointed when things don’t go right in one failed relationship. With the right attitude and positive mindset, one is bound to find that perfect and ideally suited partner they seek.

Questions to Ask Before Marriage was written by: Chantelle Iris Nunoo.